Ethics of dating a student

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I was with you every step of the way, Jack, until your last paragraph. I think you are reading too much into what I wrote.

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Because college faculty are loathe to talk to therapists, so they talk to each other. It seems this school did not in fact have a rule against such things, and all of his paramours were of legal age, but after a number of complaints from parents and other faculty about him the school decided it was necessary to do something.

Their solution was assigning him to teach only online classes, working from home, which presumably would curtail his student-dating habit.

Perhaps they thought physically distancing his activities from the campus would be a sufficient remedy? Plus, my wife would have handed me my head…literally. Patience and forgiveness are not among her strong suits. What about former students? And how about non-faculty college employees? Or the immediate family of faculty, whereby the faculty would be a potential in-law? Or the immediate family of an administration member? Non-faculty professionals who belong to another organization that is nevertheless working closely with the university as part of a project for the current semester?

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The policy and ethics of dating a professor

When is a professor not a professor? When she is no longer employed at the institution? A professor dating a student at another school is not a conflict and is as ethical as if the person was not a student at all. Dating an ex-student comes close to or crosses the ethics line. Are you waiting for them to graduate to ask them out? Yes, this is pretty much where I came out when I dealt with that issue in You hit all the key points: As such, it seems improper to me for any current student to date any professor, regardless of proximity.

Does this make sense? I would think, however, that Ick Factor and yes it is mild Ick Factor at work aside, there is a limit on the ban. Then does a time period apply? I think Ick Factor has alot to do with this. If we distill out all other ethical conundrums that may be influencing this — is the Student angling for some post-graduation recommendation? The ick factor is definitely at work for me.

I guess that many of the teen-aged undergraduates and immature grad students immediately come to mind. I think I might object to it for the same reasons I object to them using their influence to push their politics. But ick factor is irrelevent for current students- that we know is already unethical.

Want to add to the discussion?

I addressing the question of if after graduation is the ban lifted? Well, the ick factor is still there for me, but I suppose it would be hard to defend the position that dating between them when one no longer has ties to their former status is unethical. The ick factor also has to involve age.

A forty-something teacher dating an 18 year-old high-school graduate or a 22 year-old college graduate just does not sit well with me.


Screwing around pun intended with a younger still-being-formed mind in order to make yourself feel younger to me is ick personified. For example, a 35 year old adjunct prof and a 20 year old student. Would it be OK for them to date after 40 years had passed, and they were 75 and 60 respectively? Based on an actual case I know of, that one. At my high school. One of those teachers had to get divorced to do it. Be grounds for a gunfight in mine. But I graduated from a high-school with a student graduating class.

You have to understand that schools have changed. The authoritarian model is no longer considered appropriate. Now, teachers are supposed to be friends with their students. So, you have new, 22 year old teachers who are encouraged to be friends with teenage students. Relationships between teachers and students are now rampant. It seems like sleeping with students is part of the job description for the high school coaches. I have heard of students around here competing to see who can be the first to sleep with a new coach or teacher.

Someone I know had an affair with one of their high school students.

What It’s Like To Date A Med Student

The parents of the student were fine with it until the teacher decided not to divorce their spouse and marry the student,. I had completely forgotten about those silly romance comic books, Jack. Where did you did up that picture? There are some big questions Forbidden Chemistry needs to think about here.

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  7. High on the list is his ability to fulfill the duties of the TA job. Doing this job well involves helping the students in the lab class so that they have a reasonable shot of getting the experiments to work. This includes being as fair as he can in how he uses his time — not letting a handful of students monopolize his troubleshooting and leaving the rest without the help they need.

    The job also requires him to do some grading of student work, and to do this as objectively and consistently as he can. Having a student in the course become a girlfriend could potentially interfere with both of these elements of the job requirements. It might lead, consciously or unconsciously, to a different pattern of providing assistance during the lab periods. Would she worry that she was being graded more leniently — or, more harshly, if Forbidden Chemistry ends up going too far in an effort not to show favoritism?

    Even if she were confident that she was getting fair treatment in the class, would her classmates who were not dating a TA share this perception. Would they perceive such a relationship as setting up unfair conditions in the lab course? After all, if Forbidden Chemistry starts dating the object of his affections, they might well start spending a lot more time together.

    Is It Ethical For Professors To Date Students? | Ethics Alarms

    Would this give her greater access to Forbidden Chemistry to get her questions answered about how to make the labs work, or how to analyze the data, or what counts the most on the lab write-ups? Maybe this will end up undermining the friendships he had with some of these students before he was the TA for their class. Finally, Forbidden Chemistry needs to consider the possibility that the object of his affections, if asked out, may decline. How awkward would that make their interactions in the context of the TA-student relationship?

    So, Forbidden Chemistry wants to find a course of action where he can fulfill his professional and personal obligations, and one that brings about good consequences and minimizes bad consequences for himself, the object of his affections, the other students in the course, and the professor supervising him. Wait until the end of the semester, until the grades are out of your hands. This has the very best chance of keeping professional duties and personal duties from getting tangled up and pulling in opposite directions.

    If this happens, do not opt for stealth and try to keep it secret. At a small college, the chances of actually keeping a secret like this are vanishingly small. While Forbidden Chemistry and his beloved are avoiding hiding in the shadows, though, Forbidden Chemistry will need to take concrete steps to ensure fairness. In the lab, Forbidden Chemistry will want to keep track of troubleshooting time, to make sure all the students who need his help are getting a fair slice of that time.

    To make this easier on the prof, and to maximize the chances for objective grading across the students in the class, this means Forbidden Chemistry should grade all the other papers first; the prof can then use these graded papers as a guide to partial credit. There is a chance that the professor for the class will view this sort of effort to avoid a conflict of interest as responsible. There is also a chance that the professor for the class will view this sort of effort to avoid a conflict of interest as a pain in the ass for her.

    However, recall that the context already in place has Forbidden Chemistry grading friends. College life, especially at small residential colleges, tends already to mix business and pleasure. So maybe there is already good reason for professors to have discussions with their TAs about the general issue of how to manage professional and personal responsibilities when worlds collide.

    Thanks for that pedantic concern. However, typing on the iPad does not always equal perfect grammar. For you, grammar correctness is on the same level as dating an ex-student. That is a scary thought. Ask your cooperating teacher someone with some actual teaching experience if dating an ex student is kosher. Maybe you could offend them with your nonchalant attitude towards inappropriate interactions with students. You might want to read this.

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